I won’t identify them by property to protect, well, me from any retribution by the writers of these comments.
Some are actually amusing. Some are just confusing. And some may be the result of boozing?!??? They were all eye-catching, for whatever reason, and that could just boil down to some good marketing – whatever it takes to draw attention to one’s listings. They amused me, though. I hope they amuse you, too.
Take a look:
FIRE SALE .. the old homesite and Mobile burnt but the small outbuildings & water well are still there on this fabulous 40 Acres in the Ozarkian wilderness. National Forest Land is within a 1/2 mile from this location and there is tons of it. The Courtois Creek, Huzzah and Shoal Creek meander thru the Berryman area like Yogi’s backyard! Time has stood still here, waiting for you to really see the Moon at night and hear those Crickets. Warning …. Killer Deer are waiting for your aim and the turkey, leave behind ? marks all over, those pesty creatures. Just off the Black top by feet this property is wooded except for the cleared area around the old homesite and the old pasture land which just brings those creatures back. This historical hometown has many reason to live here but if you just want to say piss off to the rest of the world, it can be done! HEY HANSEL, GET YOUR SISTER GRETEL, THAR’S A CONTRY TAIL FOR YOUR STORY TO BEGIN.
I will tell you that ‘pi$$ off’ is NOT an often used marketing term where real estate is concerned.
2. PRAYING FOR A REAL LIFE SABBATICAL??? wash away your day on 9+ Acres overlooking the Meramec River one of the boundaries of your fabulous Historical home. Hear the prayers of the rested Preist of the past, walking the wonderful wood plank style floors shining as a backdrop to 2 colorful stain glassed windows or toast those toes by the 2 stone huge fireplaces. Morning room, 2 Foyer, entry door big enough for a Green Giant. Huge shop host concrete floors, electric and huge bay doors + there is an attached oversized mostly finished garage with walk-up storage area accessed bya breezeway to the home. Rotunda or Gazebo sets the stage for the lush landscape/hardscape meandering thru the well groomed grounds. Banks of windows, even the bathrooms, give way to breathtaking views capature a mile of Ozarkian farmland & bottomfields. This is as custom as it gets. Beautiful Inca Stone tile, faux stone ceramic and upper end appliances stay. Sellers have worked endless & you benefit!
Do you think they’re trying to tell us this place is haunted by priests? Commas are just so unnecessary these days, I guess.
3. EXPOSE YOURSELF on 6 ACERS on INTERSTATE 44 & ROUTE 66 WITH PHASE 3 ELECTRIC RUNNING ON THE LAND, GET READY TO MAKE IT EASY FOR YOUR BUYERS TO SEE YOUR PRODUCTS.
I am only cutting and pasting……
4. This sweet old farmhouse is the heart of life. A wrap around covered deck so your clan eyes the herd huddled in high hay. Giddy-up ride your private horse trails. Reaching for a; Corporate Retreat? Separate all your associates in beds & enjoy brain storming in the country.
That’s all for now!
Happy Real Estating!